Always on the way to discover news. No time to rest. I am falling into work. And that just does not have to think about it. I have too many problems. It makes me tired to find a solution for everything. Nobody helps me, i'm alone. Start from zero and hope that everything will be better. I am afraid of the night. When everythhing outside is silent and dark, i wil lie awake in the bed and try to check my feelings. The loneliness in the heart is painful. During the day i have always a smile on my face, so nobody can sees how bad i feel in reality. But  in the evening when i'm again alone, my eyes are empty and tears come to the light. I don't want more this masquerade. Is it too much that i want to be happy? I want to laugh deep from my heart too. Why i must live alone and lonely? I would that anyone take me in his arms and give me the feeling of sincerely loved. I am longing after tenderness and security. I should be ashamed about it? NO! I would also like to be in loved. But the fate have a different plan with me. Which plan??? That i also like to know. Maybe then it might be easier to endure all of this! 
28.3.09 21:59


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